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Friday, December 29, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Who sucked out the feeling? Right. Good question.

Lately I've felt like nothing around me is real. I've been in a constant daze like when you just wake up in the morning...only it lasts all day. Disconnected. Hazy.

It's almost like I'm standing outside of myself and I can't find the way back in.



Thursday, December 28, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Fa la la la la. La la-la-la
So. I've just spent the past two days on a cleaning rampage. Yesterday it was the bathroom in my apartment - tonight it was peeling contact paper out of about 32 cupboards in the kitchen of Matt's new house. Not that you really wanted to hear any of this I'm sure. My justifications for not posting the past couple of days are pretty much full of anything but excitement and the sheer uncontrollable force of laziness. And believe me when I say that it was all purely intentional. Not that a lot of good things didn't happen however. I spent a lot of time with my family and friends (just like most of you probably did). I gave some stuff. I got some stuff. I also have some really silly pictures to post as soon as I muster up enough motivation to download them onto my computer.

sidenote:
I ended up driving around for about an hour or so on Christmas Eve with my good friend Graham who was in town from DC. It wasn't exactly easy tracking down an open nightspot either...being the day before Christmas and a Sunday evening. But our persistence finally paid off. Said nightspot was found, many beers were consumed and a good time was had by all. That and we got to hear a really cool band play. Yeah. Only I can't remember their name...



Monday, December 25, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Merry
Christmas!



Sunday, December 24, 2000 bookmark/link this post

I've been slightly preoccupied lately with last minute shopping, wrapping and the usual frantic activities that surround the holiday season. Just one more day. One more day and this will all be over. Hell, this is pretty much the first time in a few days that I have actually been able to sit down in front of my computer. And as is usually the case, I really can't think of much to say. So. Bare with me as I try my best to improvise.

Seedy Lekvar meets the third wiseman Gaspar
Yesterday Matt and I were invited over to Amy's parents house for Christmas dinner. I think there was enough food there to feed the 439th infantry...and despite the fact that Amy's mother never met me before, she made a batch of poppyseed kolachi just for me. Her parents are cool like that. After dinner we all gathered around the television, popped Christmas Vacation (shitter's full!) into the vcr and engaged in a few greuling hands of euchre where I almost lost my prized hungarian pastry. I can gladly say that it is now safely nestled away in my freezer. The buckeyes however suffered a far more terrible fate.

I just got back from my Dad's a little bit ago where we all went out for a nice Christmas breakfast (the only time everyone could get together) and headed back to his place directly afterwards to exchange gifts. Tomorrow I'll be celebrating Christmas with my Mom and her side of the family, which I'm sure will be most entertaining as it usually is.

Right now however, I think I need a nap.



Thursday, December 21, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Damnit. Eric just made me look like a pantywaist with his prestigious karate trophy. I might need to get a posse together...anybody wanna send me some photos of yourself with a seemingly unfit trophy or similar award?



Wednesday, December 20, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Everyone loves a really good story. [a beautiful piece from derek and claire]

Speaking of stories...
So. I'm not going to go into great* detail about the events that transpired over the past couple of days. I'll let J and Nick field that one. Besides, it's all a bit fuzzy to me anyway. I haven't exactly gotten a lot of work done either.

* Okay fine. I will tell you that Nick spent an unusually long time in my bathroom, J looks cute when he's sleeping (a.k.a. passed out), Matt is just really fucking cool, and Beth just recently invented stacked fridge poetry. And me? Well...I'll just let you decide for yourself.



Monday, December 18, 2000 bookmark/link this post

yes it's empty

For no apparent reason this evening other than sheer boredom and the sudden impulse to take unfair advantage of my digital camera: My refrigerator, a bunch of magnets and the reflection of my christmas tree [click for a larger pic].



Sunday, December 17, 2000 bookmark/link this post

It finally stopped raining. Now everything is starting to freeze and the snow is starting to come down in a bout of angry fits. Probably a good day to stay inside I would think. Perhaps I'll venture out into the storm later to pick up a movie and invite my friends Amy and Matt over (if they are feeling a bit braver than I). Right now I'm tending to more domesticated issues - bills and laundry. And my bathroom floor. Well...I'm really only thinking about my bathroom floor. That counts for something doesn't it? Honestly. Who thinks about their bathroom floor?



Saturday, December 16, 2000 bookmark/link this post

So I'm sitting here in sort of a half-dazed stupor this morning, staring blankly at my screen and listening to nothing but the sound of the rain drumming it's own sporadic, off-beat rhythms on the ice outside. Inside, my head is pounding duly along - more than likely a result of a few too many Penn Pilsner drafts from the night before. But last night was good. We sat and listened to Nick's band play with the conversation at the table revolving around how "we" should be the ones up there. How "we" should get a few guys together again. You know, "just jam". Nothing serious. Just fun. That's what it's all supposed to be about right? Heh - well if talk is cheap then we've just stumbled across the sale of the century, boys...

Okay, enough of that. I need to go get ready. I'm off to celebrate an early christmas today with my dad's side of the family. An hour and a half drive into the snow laden hills of Ashtabula. Now where did I put that aspirin?



Friday, December 15, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Hi. I've been awful busy lately so I really can't talk right now. Such a terrible excuse for not posting, eh? Anyway...I can tell you that I'm getting ready to go out and hear Nick's band play in a bit, so that should be fun. I just hope I don't get a little carried away like last time and jump up screaming "You guys fucking rock man!"

So. That's about it for now so I am going to go. I've just been a little quiet lately. But it's all good...I still love you.



Wednesday, December 13, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Today's note to self: make a spare set of apartment keys.

Amy stopped over earlier this evening to pick me up on her way to the English Pub. It's one of those quaint little places that somehow feels obligated to charge $4.50 for a bottle of Bass Ale just because they have plaid wallpaper and a blatant amount of brass ornamentation decorating the bar. But it is nice and somewhere that we haven't been for a while. Anyway...I'm getting a little astray from my story here. Upon Amy's arrival I had inadvertently managed to fall asleep on my couch giving me just enough time to groggily throw on my coat and head out the door. The moment we stepped outside it dawned on me that I conveniently left my only set of keys lying on top of the kitchen table. Surprisingly enough, that's the first time that has ever happened to me - it's a good thing I remembered to put my landlord's number in my cell phone. So. I called apoligizing profusely and we ended up standing outside for about forty-five minutes waiting for him to let us in (mind you it was about 10 °).

The good part is now I am completely nice and toasty.



Tuesday, December 12, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Happy Birthday Dad!

I just got back from a nice dinner with my dad, sister and her boyfriend...a good time was had by all. My dad is so friggin' cool - he bought his first computer a couple of months ago and is now surfing the web like a pro...AOL Instant Messenger and everything! Too bad he didn't get a Mac though.

Apparently it stormed like hell last night. Winds at 30-40 mph, blowing rain and snow, and over 60 thousand people in the tri-county area without power this morning. My mom informed me that two huge trees in her backyard plus the top of another were toppled over during the storm (in turn crushing her beloved Hawthorne tree). I really must have been tired when I went to bed last night because I slept through the whole darn thing.

Oh, and I finally finished decorating my tree tonight. It's been what...two or three weeks? Woo-hoo!



Monday, December 11, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Today has been a day void of excitement and general motivation. Not bad really, not bad at all.

I remember when I lived at home I couldn't stand being stuck within the confines of my own house. I had to be going out somewhere every single night of the week. First it started with the all-night stints at Perkins and then gradually moved up to the bar scene once we all turned of age (well, close to anyway). Lately it's been fluctuating between a faux coffeehouse (a chain really), a couple of regular dives or my place with some friends. But it's days like these where I actually look forward to staying at home by myself...a word that I've most recently begun to understand a little better.

On a somewhat related note: My good friend Matt just bought a house...congratulations bud! We should be moving him in to his new place in no time and I'm calling dibs on the kitchen. Sweet revenge is mine.



Sunday, December 10, 2000 bookmark/link this post

So. I just found out that my sister is pregnant again. Regardless of the fact that she just had a baby a little over 6 months ago (and got married out of wedlock) she seems to be fairly ok with it. She also works 46 hours a week at a convenience store while her husband doesn't work at all. I also spent almost an hour on the phone with my mom today because she apparently isn't as ok with the situation as my sister appears to be. Neither is my father. I can't understand it. I am bordering somewhere between happiness and frustration. But mine is not the position to judge or even try and understand. It's her life. It's her decision. I love my sister with all my heart and right now I know that she could probably use a little more acceptance than having everyone telling her how dissapointed they are in her. The truth is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow. But it's also something that we all need to deal with...my sister included.

I'm a flux of emotions today.

Up until now I've been sitting on my bathroom countertop noodling around on my guitar. The acoustics are quite beautiful...a flurry of chords and notes resonating off of the white ceramic tiles and badly cut linoleum. Sometimes music can express the way you feel better than any words can. But not always...



Saturday, December 09, 2000 bookmark/link this post

If I told you I was lying, then I am indeed a liar.
I've been involved in this little game you see. It's rather silly. In my mind I have played out scenes and engaged in the most beautiful of dialogues (monologue). My charm unsurpassed, carrying myself with utmost confidence - only to find myself a solitary character in a small one-act play. And even though I have rehearsed my lines over and over again, I am suddenly overcome with fright the moment I step up to the stage and into the spotlight of reality.



Friday, December 08, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Okay. So my post on the "Ikea incident" is a day or two late (sometimes I can be a major procrastinator). So, without further ado...

Last weekend my Dad and I made a trip to the Ikea store in Pittsburgh. It was a crisp clear morning with not a cloud in sight...perfect roadtrip weather. Upon our arrival we headed inside and proceeded to walk through the showroom. While we were looking around in the bedroom section I noticed a bed that I had been wanting to get from my previous visit. It's rather nice too - queen size, big wicker head and footboards. I've never even liked wicker furniture that much either, but damn if I wasn't taking that thing home with me. Needless to say I bought it. After getting my ticket from the cashier, we headed to the pick-up area and I gave my slip to the woman behind the counter. While we were waiting, a couple of carts came out with these huge boxes piled on top of each other. My dad and I jokingly commented on the fact that those must be mine because we brought his tiny compact Corolla instead of my truck (I really didn't plan on buying anything that day). The joke was on us however when they brought out my order...they were at least twice the size of the boxes we had just seen! So. To make a long story short, we ended up driving home with about 63 feet of rope strapping the packages to the roof and praying for the lives of the motorists behind us. To top it all off, I had somehow managed to secure my door shut while tying the darn thing down. I ended up having to climb into the car through the driver's side. The good thing is that we made it home in one piece and my new bed is now completely assembled. No further complications to report...not until next time anyway.



Wednesday, December 06, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Much to my (and J's) relief I'm taking the rest of the week off of work to catch up on a little R & R. My dad is coming over tomorrow to help me put together my new bed that I got from Ikea. It's going to prove to be an interesting experience I'm sure. I'll explain why later...

side note: I'm constantly being ragged on by my friends for my obsession with trendy swedish furniture. I have now officially been dubbed "Ikea Boy". Is that so wrong?

Updated: Visualogue and a couple of more color pics to the Photography section.






Tuesday, December 05, 2000 bookmark/link this post

My submissions to Friends of Jezebel's Mirror were posted today. Go. Now. (and don't forget to send in a few photographs of your own!)

I met up with J and Nick for lunch today. We were sitting in a booth at one of our usual hangouts when Nick happened to notice the huge stuffed grizzly ominously perched atop a wooden landing. Our table was in such a convenient location so that everytime we looked up we had this oversized bear's ass staring us straight in the face. It was rather disconcerting.

My dinner for the past two nights has consisted of cold leftover ravioli.



Monday, December 04, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Well, yesterday wasn't completely wasted. In light of the fact that I've been eating out a bit too much lately Matt, Amy and I decided to stay in and engage in a little creative cooking. Not that pasta and pre-bagged salad mix exactly make for stimulating preparation. My frying pan however ended up doubling as a salad bowl and I'm still discovering tiny crusted specks of spaghetti sauce all over the stove, ceiling and numerous other hard to reach places in my kitchen. Oh...I also think I've successfully managed to dissuade any of my friends from accompanying me on future trips to the grocery store.



Sunday, December 03, 2000 bookmark/link this post

current time 4:36 am
I was awakened by the sound of my phone around 2 in the morning. One and a half rings...then nothing. Who calls at such an hour? A million horrible things raced through my mind. That was a little over two hours ago. Now I can't sleep. Too tired to write. Too tired to complete long sentences. Too tired to make anything here sound like it makes much sense.

After a few more bouts of restless sleep last night I finally woke up somewhere around 12:00 this afternoon. I can't remember the last time I got up that late. I guess that I needed it though - my entire schedule has been a little out of whack lately. All in all, it's been a pretty uneventful day. I wrote out a few bills. I've been procrastinating on going to the grocery store (I'm good at that). Visited my mom for a bit. Yep...a typical "I don't feel like doing very much because it's Sunday" stuff. Of course, the day isn't completely over yet...



Saturday, December 02, 2000 bookmark/link this post

Yesterday Immerse.org proudly participated in A Day Without Weblogs, a silent observance in the creative community to commemorate World AIDS Day. The page that was posted for this worthy cause can now be found here.

Okay. So I've spent the better part of my Saturday stuck in traffic and fighting off department store santas (actually they seem to be more of a myth now than the idea of a real Santa Claus - I didn't actually see any). I did however accomplish to cross off most of the items on my holiday shopping list, so that's good. You would think since I am so on top of this whole internet thing that I would have purchased most (if not all) of my gifts online. I guess Christmas just wouldn't be the same without all of the hustle and bustle - 26 different stores in one day, 26 different versions of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" being played over the loudspeakers.




Take me back up top, baby!


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Listening:
A delicious assortment of 216 mp3's backed by a little bit of the Boss


Reading:

Nothing particular at the mo'


Feeling:
I'm feeling


Thinking:

about the definite (and not so unrealistic) drawbacks of being invisible